Flying or Lying?

Veronika found Jolena looking sad.

"What's the matter," she asked.
"We were training in the gym for doing flips," Jolena told her. "We need to train for freestyle skiing all the time, you know, even when there is no snow."
"And?" asked Veronika.
"Shawn is a new kid. He has been bothering me. Today he said I was lying when I said I was flying." Jolena looked down at her hands. "I know he meant I did a bad thing, but I don't know what."

Veronika thought for a minute. "Tell me what you did and said," she suggested.
"Well," Jolena began, "when it was my turn to do a flip, I said I was flying. Then Shawn started making fun of me. He said I wasn't flying, I was lying. I don't understand, but it made me feel bad."

Veronika smiled. "I think I know what's going on," she said. "First of all, you weren't lying."
"I wasn't?" Jolena asked. 
"You were just saying how you felt," Veronika explained. "You didn't mean you were actually flying.”

"What is lying anyway?" Jolena asked.
"Well, let's say you took the last cookie on the plate and ate it," Veronika began.

"Then Mandy came along and said, 'Hey, who took the last cookie?’ You were afraid Mandy was going to be mad at you, so you said you didn't take it."

"Let's say that you said you saw Charlotte take it," Veronika said. "That's lying."

Jolena nodded. "That would be bad."
"Yes," Veronika agreed. "It would be a lie, because you said something that wasn't true, and you did it to protect yourself. It's a bad lie, because you hurt someone else at the same time."
"I wouldn't want to hurt Charlotte!" Jolena exclaimed.
"No, of course you wouldn't!" Veronika agreed. "But lying is saying something that isn't true. We should always tell the truth. Truth is very important. You would feel bad, because you knew you had done something that was wrong. And you hurt Charlotte with your lie, so that's even worse," Veronika went on. "And you would feel bad."
"Yes, I would," said Jolena. "That would be worse than having Mandy mad at me."
"And maybe Mandy would notice the crumbs on your face," Veronika suggested.

"And maybe I would have crumbs on my pants, too," Jolena agreed. "So Mandy would know. That would be worse than having Mandy mad at me for taking the cookie.”

"But pretending or using our imagination to explain how we feel isn't lying. And there are other things we can say that are not really true but are not really lies," Veronika said. "Let's say I ask you if my new dress looks good on me."

"Maybe you think pink isn't a good color for me, but you don't want to hurt my feelings, so you say I look beautiful in the dress," Veronika said. "That isn't exactly a lie, because I look beautiful to you, because you love me. It would be better, though, if you suggested another color might be better, and say it in a kind way, because it would help me, but it wasn't a bad lie.”

Jolena nodded. "I think I understand," she said. "When I said I was flying, I didn't really mean I was flying. I was just saying it felt like flying. But why did Shawn say I was lying, then?”
"I'm not sure," Veronika replied. "Tell me about Shawn."
Jolena explained that Shawn is new in class and isn't very good at the exercises yet.
"Jolena, you're very good at what you do," Veronika suggested, "so maybe he's jealous of you. Maybe he wants to be as good as you are, and it makes him feel bad that you are better than he is, so he's trying to make you feel bad, too."
"So what should I do?" asked Jolena.
"I think maybe if you encourage Shawn and point out his improvement as it happens, you'll find that he will start to feel better about himself," Veronika suggested. "However, you have no reason to feel bad about what you said, and he can't make you feel bad if you don't let him."

"That's what I'll do," Jolena said. "I'm lucky to have such a wise sister, only your example about the cookie doesn't really make any sense."
"Why not?" Veronika asked.
"Because dolls don't really like to eat cookies," Jolena replied. "We like to pretend to eat cookies. If I said I ate the cookie and said it to help myself and hurt someone else, then I would be lying!"

The dolls looked at each other and laughed. "Besides, you do look good in pink," Jolena added. "And that's the truth!"


Cast--

Jolena: Götz Happy Kidz Lena in Aspen
Veronika: Götz Happy Kidz Vroni

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Note: No dolls were harmed during production of this blog. All dolls shown are Götz Happy Kidz, Classic Kidz or Little Kidz. If you like these stories and are willing, please make a donation of any amount to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital or any organization that supports pediatric cancer research and treatment. We are not affiliated with St. Jude in any way other than these donations.

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Image on Mariah's yellow T-shirt used with permission, from Free To Be Kids, where human-size shirts with this image are available.

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